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The search is officially on

One position. One person. Kartoshka reads every submission personally. If you are reading this, you are already ahead of everyone who isn't.

Learn More Go Straight to Form

The Opportunity

What you are actually applying for

1 opening

Kartoshka

Music maker, creative thinker, honest to a fault. Builds things from scratch and cooks better than he admits.

∞ Songs in the head
1 Spot available
100% Real person

What comes with the deal

  • Someone who actually listens
  • Original music, live and personal
  • Genuine conversations at 2am
  • A partner for everything creative
  • Food. Good food.

What works in your favor

  • Good energy, no drama
  • Knows what she wants
  • Laughs at her own jokes
  • Genuine over perfect, always
  • Bonus points for liking potatoes

Kartoshka Matchmaking Bureau · Est. Now

Wife Submission Request

Every field matters. This goes directly to Kartoshka with no filters. Be yourself. That is the only requirement.

01 First, who are you?
02 How do we reach you?
Pick your preferred way *
03 Put a face to the name

Click or drag your photo here

JPG · PNG · WEBP, max 10 MB

04 Anything else to share (optional)

Click or drag files here

Images · PDF · Word · Text, up to 5 files

05 Your message to Kartoshka
06 One quick check

Prove you are human and not a bot

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Your submission goes directly and privately to Kartoshka. Nothing is stored on this website.